Bullied at school

# Your Child Says He's Being Hit at Daycare **I hear the worry in that.** When your child comes home with that story, it lands differently than other daycare updates — there's an urgency to it, maybe some guilt about whether daycare is the right place, maybe frustration that you can't be there to see what's actually happening. That feeling is real, and it matters. --- ## Understanding What Your Son Is Telling You At 5 years old, your son *is* reporting something true about his experience — but what he's reporting and what's actually happening may not be the same frame. At this age, children: - **Notice conflict vividly** but don't always distinguish between "he pushed me once" and "he keeps hitting me" - **Replay moments** when they feel unsafe or unsettled, which can make a single incident feel like a pattern - **May be looking** for your reassurance or attention when they tell you — not necessarily asking you to "fix" it - **Don't yet understand context** — a child who hit him during a toy dispute might also be his occasional friend This doesn't mean ignore him. It means the next step is **gathering real information**, not immediately escalating. --- ## Why This Matters Now At this age, peer conflict is where children *learn* boundaries. The daycare teacher's job includes helping him practice: "What do you do when someone pushes you? Tell a teacher. Use your words. Step away." Your job is to stay calm enough that he feels safe reporting, but also to help him build *competence*, not just sympathy. --- ## What To Do Today **1. Ask specific, curious questions (not leading ones)** - "Tell me what happened. Who was playing? What were you doing?" - "Where were the teachers?" - "What did you do after he hit you?" - *Listen without immediately problem-solving.* Kids often just need to be heard. **2. Contact the daycare teacher directly — calmly and factually** - In writing (email or 알림장) is best: *"My son mentioned that another child hit him. Can you tell me what you've observed?"* - Ask: Has the teacher seen this? Is it one incident or a pattern? How are they responding when conflict happens? - The teacher's answer will tell you whether this is something that needs a safety plan or something that's part of normal peer learning. **3. Coach him in the language of safety without coaching him into fear** - "If someone hits you, tell a teacher right away. You can say, 'I don't like that. Stop.'" - Do NOT say things like "That's not okay, we need to fix this" — it can make him feel like the situation is bigger/scarier than it is. --- ## The Question to Ask Yourself **Is your son asking you to solve this, or is he asking you to listen?** Often at this age, the child who says "someone keeps hitting me" just needs one conversation where you believe him, ask what happened, and then *trust the daycare structure to handle it*. Overresponding can actually make him more anxious about going back. **That said:** If the teacher tells you it's a real safety issue or if your son shows signs of genuine fear (not wanting to go, sleep changes, physical symptoms), that's when you escalate to the director and create a safety plan. --- **You're doing the right thing by paying attention to what he's saying. The next right thing is getting the full picture — calmly — before you decide what comes next.** What did the teacher say when you asked them about it?